I am always amazed when people judge and sum-up others before knowing anything about that person. It is of course human instinct that we categorize and place people in certain groupings within the first few seconds of seeing them, but the reactions we make based on our own assumptions is mind-blowing. Generally speaking, if the CEO of a fortune 500 company, or high-figured politician, or even a SLU student was to walk into Hearthside dinner, there would be a pre-conceived notion of the type of person that would be serving them for their meal. Most likely, they would think of a lazy, slightly overweight, lower class woman as their waitress. They would think she has probably slacked off somewhere during her lifetime causing her to work for barely minimum wage, she has not received the proper education to fulfill employment elsewhere, and she has children from different fathers because of lack of responsibility. All of these thoughts have circulated in one’s mind within the first five minutes of walking through the door.
Although this might be slightly over dramatized, the fact of the matter is that we judge people without knowing their story. I think of Gail as I am writing this. Gail is a woman that has been through a physically, mentally and emotionally rough time. She has been living several months in her truck, yet in the summer is not an option due to the weather and the lack of security. She also deals with the traumatizing loss of her boyfriend due to a brawl in prison (charged of DUIs) causing a lack of sleep and drained energy. Yet she quickly and expeditiously with a pleasant spirit, sympathizes for the out-of-work mechanic buying his meal, and cares for her customers. Whatever pain, heartache, and exhaustion is felt, she continues to move-on and prosper with great vigor causing all the assumptions once made are irrelevant.
Not only do we judge people right away, but that judgment puts them in a "place" -- a ranking system or hierarchy that is pre-established. Gail may be nice, but she gets less respect than a mean CEO because of the many systems of stratifying people we have. "Nice" is considered an individual quality, whereas wealth or power are collective measures of a person's worth.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't we recognize "niceness" and "meanness" as poles on a permanent hierarchy?
I agree that everyone makes assumptions, no matter who they are or where they are from. But I do believe that as people become more and more educated, their assumptions change. After four years as a criminal justice major and sociology minor, I know my assumptions about people have changed.
ReplyDeleteThe old saying holds true: when you assume . . . I'm sure we all know the rest. One thing that my mom always taught me was to treat everyone the same, whether they are the head of the company or the maintence worker, they are people too. Reading about Barbara's experiences waiting tables definitely reinforces that. The work one does is not a definition of who they are. When we remember this, it forces us to be conscience of those around us and what they might be experiencing.
ReplyDeleteJudging someone unfairly is definitely not right. Although, being able to read people can be beneficial in many social situations. If you are able to read someone correctly, you can use it to your advantage in situations such as a job interview or other social situations. It may not be right to make assumptions about people, but it can be useful.
ReplyDeleteBy judging someone, I believe we miss out. I am always judged as someone who is stupid or slow because I have a learning disability. I try to hide this disability the best I can but sometimes in class it peaks through and the students then have a negative perception of me; however, when I meet people outside of classroom environments people tell me their assumptions and how the assumptions have changed when they saw me outside of class.
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